If I were a Pimp, I wanna win player of the year every year.
I want a gold Cadillac, 75 feet long, with a diamond in the back and
TV's in my head rest so my hoes can watch videos on how to not look like a trick.
I don't want my prostitutes to be women either. I want then to be
big, tall, chocolate, swollen brothers in business suites and alligator dress shoes.
I want my hoes to be fly.
I want my tricks to call me daddy and give me 60% of what ever they make.
Imma name my hoes the days of the week so they know what days the work.
Unlike any other pimp, I wont beat my tricks. When they misbehave I'm gonna hit
them where it hurts most, their pockets, cause my momma taught me that.
My Hoes wouldn't have to fuck for money either.
Instead they'll have to do good deeds.
And nothing is better than being paid in long lasting "Thank Yous"
that settle in your cheeks like the flavors of long lasting chewing gum.
They'll get paid in smiles and hugs from helping old women and little girls cross the street.
And when they report back to me, I want them to reach into their pant pockets and pull out hand fulls of hugs and kisses.
I want my hoes to be smart. College educated and fully motivated to take on the world.
Instead of turning tricks, I want them to turn half empty hearts into half full ones.
I want them to turn frowns into smiles, crack heads into profits and full moons into shining stars.
I want my hoes to be like me. Warm Hearts & talent, just like me.
If I were a pimp, I'd win player of the year every year.
Turning the world into a happier place, one hoe at a time.
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