Saturday, October 11, 2014

Make him watch

Last time I was in this back seat some things went down. Legs shaking, heart racing, and my panties came down. Gripped my legs, licked his lips, I stroked him on his shoulder. Hands played the heels between me, tried to keep myself from moaning. Wanting to move more than just his finger was the reason he deceived me. Played the guitar with the string of my thong, he always did like music. Sang mellow hellos to my lips, and hips. You felt all on my legs. Every inch you touched locked my soul in you. Ankles, locked in heart. Calfs, locked in mind. I can't get your print out my mind. Thighs locked in lust. I lusted after you, I'm lusting after you, bottom parts of you still throb in my palms. I still lay in your arms on dark nights, I pray by your side whenever strength doesn't find your eyes in the morning. It rains in the summertime for you... You missed a great thang, I handed me to you and that's where I went wrong. But I will never want to right this wrong cause you were right about everything. You use to be the stutter in my speech and the reason why I could not think about anything other than you. Couldn't think about how life would be without you. I couldn't imagine what the other side of me would look like without you beside it. You looked me square in the eye and told me you loved me with a mouth full of lies. Every fictional thing you said gave me butterflies. I once thought you saw me as beautiful. Because you have a Big Beautiful Woman for a mother you will find something beautiful about me, or maybe I can't be as beauty to you as she is, at least I thought I wouldn't be disrespected. Too fat for your sex, good thing that wasn't what I came looking for. I came to play for hearts and keeps but you came for child's play. I imagined us to be something like a game of chess. The queen protecting her king however, you are not a king... You are simply a peasant in the presence of me the queen, you will one day serve my king. Until then I hope you find our father who art in heaven hollowed be thy name thy kingdom come that will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily fool. Behead him and make him suffer, make him watch as the men is supposed to love me fills his spot. Make him watch as the man who is supposed to love me takes on the characteristics of God. Make him Christlike and make my husband whole, but make him watch for I am happy and he will never be whole without me. Make me the single puzzle piece he will forever miss. Let him know that my heart use to beat simultaneously with his. Let him know that I used to would not inhale unless he breathed in my direction. Make him watch as the man who is supposed to love me makes me whole... Make him watch.