Sorry 3,000 times

This year alone more than 3,000 mothers will be lost among the masses. Trapped in death, they will stop beating. Always trained to give ourselves to our babies, we lost it when we lost them. No one tells us what to do when we cry. Not even how to hurt out loud, no one tells us how to stay alive after still birth. No one can ever warm this cold in my soul last night I saw my baby. I reached out, but couldn't feel a thing where was God in all of this? We are alone in all of this. Tonight, somebody's mother will be the eyes in the background. The song when this earth is crying out loud. Can't you hear that child humming in my melody? She is my rose that grew in concrete, and I never got to see her smile. Tonight 3,000 mothers will be lost in the system. They said they would help us but nothing can help this, can you hear the hope in all of this? Can you hear my spirit crying out in all of this, where are you? Never had to yell your name, I couldn't even mumble it. I knew you wouldn't be there. Trapped in death, we've even been trapped in silence. SILENT... Sometimes our heart beats lump in silence, silent like their cries. Silent like my cries, and sometimes it's okay.. There will never be another you, but baby I love you for all my imagination stretched you out to be. I've praise danced on the sides of bridges, fettling with life and death in my toes cause my hands were much too tied into expunging you off of my records. Deleting the plans I had of putting all of my favorite records on and teaching you how to step. They didn't even let me see you. I have to play dress up with the assumptions of you I have tucked between cheek and teeth, I prayed you'd be a good girl. Much like momma, I would dress you like a pearl, but you were one of the dreams God asked to stay still at birth. I had to stay still in the mist of missing you. It rained during the burning of my feet, I danced on your mercy. We danced on y'all's mercy, this time it wasn't mommy's fault. You just slipped away from me. This year more than 3,000 women say sorry. 

Locked in skin

I'm Skin. I am no longer your prisoner. 

Brown woman know no fear no more. It cremated itself. Seemed to have taken the shape of me, I feared myself. 

       Promised granny I'd never cremate myself, she said it'll send me to hell. Closed my eyes and made a pact with the devil, pinky promised him infinity to forever. 

       Wouldn't want to stain God's angel costume with my color, you say black is forever, but they didn't think so. Water blasted by those made to protect us. I cremated myself before they got the chance. 

       Prepped myself for my own casting down to hell. Black robe and red lip stick. I took out my soul, washed it & put it in his pocket. Devil you took hold of my soul, but this earth will forever have this body, brown, and blistered. 

       I'm another black body swinging in the earths breeze cause we don't just die in the summer time. Black berries be sweetest so they eat us alive, vultures they are. 

         Come to the darkness, where you may, but most likely may not survive. This body, brown skin of mine, never asked to be light so to have some kind of burden my hips lay heavy weight upon the world. 

        They always got to find something wrong with me. Maybe this cremation of her was mental. Maybe she was molested. Or maybe she was black... But why can't I just be tired? I wanted to sleep forever. 

      Being black blocks bad business dealing with the devil. He may have glitter, but it will never turn to gold. Burning for a fix we sell souls for phony kicks & stones. We wait all weekend to get high for this. 

       No tan can get brown like this. They use to cremate us, now we do it for them. Skin. I am no longer your prisoner. Brown women know no fear no more. We pinky promised to cremation, for infinity to forever... Locked in skin