Beautiful Beast

I look at you and imagine a beast. But I am the beautiful. The red in your corvette which is really a bus card I gave to you. 

   

  You stumbled on my door step at 1A.M and expected me to mend you back to health. Heart all flustered I did it anyway. Poured  alcohol on your open wombs and apologized that my trying to heal you was so painful. Loving and losing you was very painful. 

     

  All you did was make me cry. Though hurt never triggered those tears, I cried out your name in sexual satisfaction followed up with a "Yes! God! Fuck!"  

    

    You made love to me. And I never could have lived knowing that I didn't share with you all of me, didn't know what you didn't love on me nor did I care. With out a care I gave you all of me. 

       

So beast, why'd the rhythm in your love change? On cold afternoons you warmed your hands in my back pockets, pressed against stone walls. To the world our hugs appeared innocent. 

   

   And in a sense I believed it. Stepped back when you asked me to, stepped up when you were in danger beast, I protected you from cowards, liars and anger. Didn't care if you didn't feel loved or even liked by many just needed you to know that I loved you at first sight and grew to like your laughter many times.  

  

       You may not be a beauty but your love is a beast. Leave the beauty up to me. Your fingers are much too thick to fit a wedding ring but just right to fit the walls of me. This ain't holy or lie enough to be pulp fiction. 

  

    Just fiction enough to believe. I believed in this love. Looks like looks can be deceiving, damn right you deceived me. You look like a beast so I never suspected your loving be good. I guess that's what I get for loving my hood. 

   

    True love in the hood is under hoodies and train tracks. Braces and slurred speech, even love is hidden in between thrones on roses and finger tips, beauty's kiss and the beast's transformation. 

     

    I'm afraid to kiss you. I'm not sure if you'll turn into my princess or my Prince Charming. All I know is, someone made love to me with the lights out so, I'm not sure which beast is you, show yourself. 

   

      Or forever hold your peace. I'll be that missing punctuation when you need me to finish your sentences at 1 A.M when you're much too broken like dialect falling off of my lips from under developed countries. I gave birth to your heart prematurely. 

    

   They say age doesn't determine maturity.. I'm starting to believe them. Ex lover, your older and never can seem to pick up your head fast enough to notice me in the hallway but, always upset when I play you to the side.

   You tell them we never really dated as if almost a year was nothing, I cried for you. Fought off all those hoes and haters for you, I even risked hell for you. 

 

   But, to them WE never existed. It hurts that you are the beast of all love but, is afraid to be judged because you dated a "Kid." You are the only beast, beauty ever got ahold to. Beast I still love you. Love you like every princess loved in anything Disney. Sadly our love isn't Rated G enough to be shown on Disney. I'm not sure which part they're afraid of. If it's the questionable gay, fat, sex or the ugly.

   

   I'm not sure if this is love or shame but, guilt drips from it like juices in between a woman. The rhythm in your love stopped and soon did my waterfall. I refuse to make the beast in you look good with my beautiful. I am the beautiful in your beast.

 Love makes everyone die peaceful. 

Bitter Berries

The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.
So I guess I'm bitter sweet.

Visually, I ain't all that "Black" but
Please believe I got black all up in me.

Just because my skin isn't as rich as black
berries doesn't mean it's poor.

Just because I'm light skinned doesn't mean
I clam only European. My ancestors are just
as diverse as this country.

Where light skins and dark skins are more
War than civil. We're fighting each other
 over rights that have been stolen by
people who some we claim to be and some
Of us wish to be.

They stole the freedom to think it seems like.

So many black girls wish they were white girls....
And I'll never understand.

The only room they made for us in their red,
White, and blue are the blood and the Cripps.

             Black blood Red.
             Black cripp Blue.
     We kill each other and white just watch.

Why do we think
 we're less beautiful
 the way we are?

Dark skin, light skin, to them
we're all black skin.
Black skin, black face, to them
 we're wearing black face.

If freedom was abolished today and slavery
Adopted like the mixed kid with curly hair,
We'd all cupid shuffle back into the
roller decks of slave names.

They'd whip their names out across our backs,
Make us scream out master. We claim we're the
Masters of our own fate but, who is God?

You know, there was a time we all held hands
 and prayed to him.
And the only book we had was the bible.

Your skin being light don't make you white.
Your skin being dark don't make you ugly.

Stop pulling and tugging at yourself, God made
Plans for that skin.

Nothing about your berries are rotten, every
Sprinkled speck of you is sweet like black berries.
We come in all shades.

Just because your TV said one skin was prettiest
 Does not make is fact!
Non of what you girls argue about has been
Proven by science or God so
you idolize yourselves.

Talk no more so very proud, let not arrogance
Come from your mouth; for the Lord is a God
Of knowledge, and by him actions will be weighed.
                                   1 Samuel 2:3

Never be too proud. Yeah, you may be light
But not light enough to not be knocked off your
Cloud.

Please think twice before you spit poison
From your light black lips onto another
Girl with dark black lips.

It's just as painful as when write people spit onto us.
Not every black berry is sweet.

And just because we're light don't assume life
Is easy. We're still black. Had to step our black
Feet in the same back doors as you.

Don't assume that lighter is white.
Light is bitter sweet for me.
What are your berries like?