Beautiful Beast

I look at you and imagine a beast. But I am the beautiful. The red in your corvette which is really a bus card I gave to you. 

   

  You stumbled on my door step at 1A.M and expected me to mend you back to health. Heart all flustered I did it anyway. Poured  alcohol on your open wombs and apologized that my trying to heal you was so painful. Loving and losing you was very painful. 

     

  All you did was make me cry. Though hurt never triggered those tears, I cried out your name in sexual satisfaction followed up with a "Yes! God! Fuck!"  

    

    You made love to me. And I never could have lived knowing that I didn't share with you all of me, didn't know what you didn't love on me nor did I care. With out a care I gave you all of me. 

       

So beast, why'd the rhythm in your love change? On cold afternoons you warmed your hands in my back pockets, pressed against stone walls. To the world our hugs appeared innocent. 

   

   And in a sense I believed it. Stepped back when you asked me to, stepped up when you were in danger beast, I protected you from cowards, liars and anger. Didn't care if you didn't feel loved or even liked by many just needed you to know that I loved you at first sight and grew to like your laughter many times.  

  

       You may not be a beauty but your love is a beast. Leave the beauty up to me. Your fingers are much too thick to fit a wedding ring but just right to fit the walls of me. This ain't holy or lie enough to be pulp fiction. 

  

    Just fiction enough to believe. I believed in this love. Looks like looks can be deceiving, damn right you deceived me. You look like a beast so I never suspected your loving be good. I guess that's what I get for loving my hood. 

   

    True love in the hood is under hoodies and train tracks. Braces and slurred speech, even love is hidden in between thrones on roses and finger tips, beauty's kiss and the beast's transformation. 

     

    I'm afraid to kiss you. I'm not sure if you'll turn into my princess or my Prince Charming. All I know is, someone made love to me with the lights out so, I'm not sure which beast is you, show yourself. 

   

      Or forever hold your peace. I'll be that missing punctuation when you need me to finish your sentences at 1 A.M when you're much too broken like dialect falling off of my lips from under developed countries. I gave birth to your heart prematurely. 

    

   They say age doesn't determine maturity.. I'm starting to believe them. Ex lover, your older and never can seem to pick up your head fast enough to notice me in the hallway but, always upset when I play you to the side.

   You tell them we never really dated as if almost a year was nothing, I cried for you. Fought off all those hoes and haters for you, I even risked hell for you. 

 

   But, to them WE never existed. It hurts that you are the beast of all love but, is afraid to be judged because you dated a "Kid." You are the only beast, beauty ever got ahold to. Beast I still love you. Love you like every princess loved in anything Disney. Sadly our love isn't Rated G enough to be shown on Disney. I'm not sure which part they're afraid of. If it's the questionable gay, fat, sex or the ugly.

   

   I'm not sure if this is love or shame but, guilt drips from it like juices in between a woman. The rhythm in your love stopped and soon did my waterfall. I refuse to make the beast in you look good with my beautiful. I am the beautiful in your beast.

 Love makes everyone die peaceful.