Souls of Us

I wish I could just crawl

Inside my shell & convince 

Me that I'm pretty. 

   I wish rain didn't 

Knock upside my window cause

I'm convinced it's Gods cry.

I guess that's why it's

Called window pain. 

My head is always down 

cause I never

Knew of a such thing as 

Confidence, I guess the

Idea of that was completely 

insane. 

If I had confidence the 

World would swear

 up and down

That I was conceded but,

   I heard through the 

grapevine that my being 

Is  beautiful but;

I wish my heart would tell me

that. I'm not sure 

how long I'll allow myself 

to be susceptible to

the cat calls & whispers but,

My body's hallow, no sure 

of how to pick my battles;

I'd just rather not fight. 

   I've been okay with

Loosing far too long and

I'm not sure why I picked 

Today to win when yesterday

Was my first option. How about

I choose tomorrow? I know

It's not promised but, winning

Is still no guarantee. 

    I'm lost within myself. 

My mother swears I'm

My father but, my father is

Like God. I don't see him but,

I know he exist. I'm failing 

because I'm holding faith

In my hand but, I can't 

Find the direction to my heart. 

     This drug is a coping mechanism.

Roll my blunts & inhale the 

Venom, the pungent smell

Of disaster is the devils 

Play mate. Playing chess 

with my soul like he's 

already won. Check Mate. 

Lash my soul with 

Sinners but, you will not 

create a master piece out

Of me. 

     This poem is my souls 

Song to the heavens asking 

God is there still room for me. 

Cause my being should be for

The good of me. 

      I'm not sure which part of

This is me & which part of this

Is you. I just know, this is the

Souls of women every where. 

       Is this really true.??