Why can't you love me?

April25, 1998,
The day I was born.
This day was suppose to be one of the best days of my parents life, but instead they treated it like a death sentence.
Holding your baby girl for the first time is suppose to be a unforgettable experience, but for them it didn't happen this way.
Ever since I can remember all I ever asked Santa for was for my parents to love me.
I asked him to give me them under a Christmas tree waiting to hold, mold & love me into a better women than I was turning out to be. With the lack of affection I was starting to fail my classes, kick peoples asses, & even started to party a little. I did this in attempts to gain attention & all I got was a slit wrist burned with my own tears. Mommy, can't you see that I'm crying for your hug, or even for you to just say you love me even if it's hard for you to mean it.
Why didn't you teach me to be a lady?
I can't seem to respect you for the simple fact that where you lacked as mother my teacher had to step up & fill that hole you left when you cursed my soul the day I told you that I'm gay.
I don't want to hate you because even thought you may not love me, I love you for being everything in a mother I never want to be when I have children. You will be the example of why I hold my children at night letting them know it's ok to cry because mommy will never let you go.
And Daddy, where did you go?
All of my teen years we only spoke of Facebook, & most of the time the words weren't nice.
I remember the day I got in trouble for fighting in school & you called the house from Jail to tell me I was wrong. Ever since that day I could never take you seriously because you were yelling at me & your doing time for attempted murder.
Ask me again why the hell am I so crazy.
If you were a real man my uncle wouldn't have to teach me right from wrong & kick ass when ever some ones done me wrong.
I shouldn't even call you daddy because any boy can make babies & be called father. But it takes a man to be my daddy.

Mom, dad, look at me! Can't you see that in hurt? Can't you see that with these slashes on my arm I was on the verge of suicide?
Why can't you love me?