I thought I loved this girl...

I thought I loved.
I thought I loved this girl.
I thought I loved this girl that I don't even really like anymore.
This girl was, older.
This girl was, a lot older than me.
In fact she is so much older that starting on a certain day, we can't even talk anymore.
This girl gave me all the love I thought I wanted from someone, but eventually I couldn't handle it.
See, the thing is because she's so much older, she's ready for sex, & I'm not. See I'm a little young, maybe a little bit wild, & I do like to be free.
But I'm still a child, & she's practically an adult now & it scares me to know that we have to stop talking.
I built this wall up knowing that this day would come,
I built this wall to protect myself from the emotional damage our separation would cause.
I focused on the reasons why I shouldn't love her, instead of the reasons why I should love her.
I told myself that it's because she's not all the attractive.
But I know that's not true because those big brown eyes tell a story that not many people can see.
Then I tried convincing myself that it was because she was too much of a rough neck, which I didn't really admire to begin with but I learned to deal with it.
I thought I built this wall to prevent myself from enduring a terrible heart break.
But I actually built this wall because I had never really got over my first "mate" my first kiss, my first girlfriend, & u know I could never really get over her because she was my first love.
It breaks my heart to know that there is someone that loves me deeply but I cant be in love with them back because I'm in love with someone else, that I'm not to sure even loves me back.!