Someone's something

Your voice sings songs to
my soul that I thought only
God could perfect.

And your fingers read my body
Like books Shake Sphere has
Written.

But, I was always afraid that your
Being was too cool to
Love my being so honestly, I was
Never really honestly lovin' myself.

And the thought for you to love
Me back was crazy.

I always fell victim to your touch
From navel up I was your's but, you,
You were never really mine.

You were too busy being
Someone else's everything while
All of me to you was nothing.

In my room we laid.

Made love to dead feelings
and I master bated to the memory's
Of your voice and I re-felt every
Single touch from navel up,
I was your's in body

But never in spirit 'cause all
Of me to you was nothing.

I thought that in you I saw beauty
But, when you brought the drugs
I brought the pain.

And no one ever told us that
Beauty was pain's lover.

And Disney never prepared
Us for what's after the glass slipper,
And all I had was the weekend to get
high for this song you sung to
My soul.

My body use to be gold.
I gave you all of this, from
Navel up I fell victim to your touch.

I gave you all of me but,
all of Me was nothing because
You were too busy being someone
Else's something.

All of me was nothing.

You had me dancing so long to
this song I had started dancing
with the devil.

I gave you all of this and my world.

Bring the drugs baby,
I can bring my pain.

I brought my love and I see
You brought your game.
Got me dancing on a new level,
Got me dancing with the devil.

I gave you all of this and
All of this was my love but,
From navel up falling victim
To your superficial touch;
All of this was nothing and you,
You were someone else's something.

Death, I miss you!

Death as in you're not here.

Deaf as in I can no longer listen to your heart beat.

Death as in you're no longer here.
But I swear in my heart I always got you.

I got you in Mind, Picture and Spirit, not body
because for as long as I shall live,
nobody can replace the body
I hugged, loved and curled up under on the
Pew in sunday school.

New school, old school, hey how's heavens school?
Are the work sheets lined with gold
and do you have a picture with God yet?

After 3years I'm still not sure how
I'm suppose to deal with your death.
Death as in you're not here.
Deaf as in I can't hear you
Scream, Scriptures, Scrapping
them from the bible.

I wasn't your GrandChild
but, I treated and loved you like
my GrandMother.
Y'all were best friends. You know,
I often catch her tears in my palms and
Wash my face with them.
Her longing for you made
me pray even
Harder that God will allow
post cards from heaven.

Death as in you're not here.

Deaf as in I can't listen to you sing in
the morning.

Death as in I'm missing you.

Deaf as in I don't want to hear my
Own voice cause, I still hear
the hallow that whistles from when
I lost you.
Death as in I miss you.
Grandmother I miss you.

Sun Kissed Beauty

Even on Rainy Days I still see Sun Shine in my own eyes.

Unbearable Beauty

We LOVE in a world where love is wrong if it's not America's definition of "Right"

This Man...

He walks like diamonds have
Stolen all of the empty spaces
on his back, slumped over.

He has a heart that beats
like an explosive bomb and
When he sleeps at night
Everything goes Boom!

Silence is his deadliest
Weapon because a wise
man rarely speaks and always
Observes.

He has turntables on his
fingertips and call them
his identity. His identity is
Music.

He went from ringing the back
boards of jail basketball
rims, to spit shining
his shoes for his next
Job interview.

He has two jobs already.
Being a father and a husband.
He has two jobs already.

He smiles and reveals
pearls for teeth and he
has a face that reveals
His true age from the wrinkles
Next to his eyes.

He has callused over worked
Thumbs from working the
Assembly line and constantly
Giving his daughter a thumbs up
For doing good.

This man is a HERO.

He's prince charming to his
Daughter,

King to his wife.

And super man to his son.

But somedays super man gets
Tired too. Super man
Has laid on his diamond
incrusted back some nights
and prayed that
Nobody needed saving because
He needed to be sleeping.

Super man cries at night too.
He cries out a prayer
That only God can answer
And even prays for his
Wife more than he
Prays for himself.

He has taken diamonds
out of his back to give his
Wife the perfect wedding
Ring. And some nights, he
uses his turntable fingertips to
Write his wife, out
Loud what he calls raps
But in his heart calls poems.

Lyrically he's like a blessing
But mentally he's like gun shells
Tripping over bettered cement.
Look at what the hood has
Done to him.

They've dribbled diamonds
Into his spine like his back
Was the basketball court.

And they shot honesty into
His left eye and a fearful
yet strong love for God into his
Right.

Not everything bad comes
Out of Chicago's hood,
Am I right!??

This man is a hero.
Prince charming to his daughter.
King to his wife.
And super man to his sun.

This is a man that at night
makes everything go boom.

This man gave faith in
his heart some Living Room.

True Love!

True love is so hard to find but, see
The thing is it's only between your lips
and mine.
How about a kiss to see
If our fairy tale will make it to
The best sellers list.

Never, ever let go of your grip
from this love because in this I trust.
I trust your lips to be the solid
Gold treasures of ecstasy.

You're the first person that didn't just
Want to have sex with me.
You made love to me intellectually and
For that I'll be forever wrapped
up in your arms where you'll
Treasure me for eternity.

Baby this love couldn't be bought
For anybody's money.

We own this exclusively.

Before I let you go for the night
Can I get a kiss good night?
The only distance between our love is
Our lips. So kiss me; show me what
True love feels like tonight.

I think this feeling is just right.
Or could it be that you might just be
A good thrill for tonight.

Kiss me to know if true love feels
Just right.
When it comes to love I'm
Not so bright but, maybe we
Just might have found it tonight.

Gods Test For Me!

I've spoken to God before. And do you know what hes told me?

He said that he wouldn't make this test
easier for me just because I've cried to him.
That's what I'm suppose to do. Fight.
Fight for the spot in his kingdom that is mine but,
remember that his love is NOT limited.

He forgives me. Sin after sin but never the same sin twice.
He forgives us.

After the first time we should have learned our lessons but,
some people forget that God is not the lotto,
we can't just put a dollar in the offering and expect a blessing.
Gods glory doesn't work like that.

It was the blood trickling down his sons back,
it didn't matter what our sins were all Jesus knew
is that he died for them.

If its a heaven on earth, there's a hell in the ground.
we always say we want a friend to ride or die for us but,
we forget who first died for us. Jesus died for us.

We often forget what bible pages taste like, licking our fingers then swiping the pages
Now all we do is take out our phones to
swipe the pages.

Can somebody hand me the yellow pages?
or direct me on the right path to heaven,
cause right now on this earth I'm lost.

Trapped in between stop signs and hearts. The love
of a woman or the fact that I need God.
This sexual revolution in my body ties its lust
around my mind and stretch out my faith.

The reality is I'm tired of this.
I've asked God for relief from this, and he said; he wouldn't make this test easier for me just because
I've cried to him.

That's what I'm suppose to do.
God all I ask is that I get closer to you.
But if my sexuality is opposed upon you,
what am I suppose to do?

I apologize in advance and if I fall short
of your kingdom, please don't give up on me.
This is just another one of my sins and I apologize
for this one too.

There are no IFs, ANDs, or BUTs, about this truth; God I love you.

This is the first apology my pen has ever birthed
of me being a black, gay Christian.
Maybe this life was especially chosen out of the
lotto just for me along with this body.

This body that have curves that look like road maps to
Gods door way in heaven. God told me
he wrote this test just for me.

And that I should keep fighting for my
spot in his kingdom because he adores me.
So I shall continue to bow down before thee.
This is Gods test for me.